Processing Emotional Pain through Companionship
This is the third post in the series of Processing Emotional Pain. The posts to the other parts of the series can be found here.
Pain can feel lonely and isolating but we often have “companions in misfortune. In sorrow.”
This idea of having a “companion in sorrow” is a theme that is woven throughout Sharon Garlough Brown’s book, Shades of Light.
Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 (NIV) “Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken.”
There is beauty when someone is there to pick us up when we fall, to help us carry our burden, keep us warm when we feel so cold. The persons who are our companions in sorrow may be among our friends, family, or church members or they may be people we know of and admire who are fellow sufferers or have been able to walk alongside those who suffer.
Wren, from Shades of Light finds one of her main companions in Vincent Van Gogh. But she also found them within her family and in her church. It can be hard to let others help. It can be hard to release control and allow others to walk along side to “let the prayers of others carry you” as Wren’s pastor Hannah encourages her.
In Luke 5:17-39 it was the paralyzed man’s friends who carried him on his mat to Jesus. Sometimes, you need to let others carry you.
One day, you will feel better. As Julia Cameron says in The Artist’s Way, your own healing will be a great message of hope to others. You, the one who suffers, can be someone’s companion in sorrow. You know and understand the pain and you also know that you can’t fix their problem or even answer their question, but you can dare to be with them in their pain.
You are not alone in your pain, even if you feel that way. Seek out and watch for your companions in sorrow. Tell your story. Listen to others tell their stories. There is great healing in the listening and telling.
If there is difficulty finding people in your life that understand and are willing to help carry you through a difficult time, there are many communities online that can become a safe space. Van Gogh found much healing and support through his letter correspondence with his friend, Theo. You can find the same online and I encourage you to do so. We all need a companion in our sorrow.
