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Writing * Photography * Contemplation

Staying Positive

I’m sitting here listening to Louise Hay talk about positive thinking and affirmations.  I try to listen to her CD whenever I think to.  Sometimes I find it soothing.  Other times, I find it completely frustrating and exhausting.  Why?  It’s just a struggle at times.  It’s like painting a clown face on when you feel like crying. 

And why?  Why am I so stressed and fearful?  I KNOW things will work out.  I KNOW things will be OK.  But in the meantime, I just, wow, struggle.  Like really really struggle.  I want to trust God.  I want to feel safe.  I want to feel and trust and believe that God will provide for me and keep me safe and bring good things into my life because I am His child.  And, yet, the days go by and I have headache after headache.  I find myself anxious, tense, tight, angry, and sad.
So, how do I grieve the losses in my life and yet feel serenity, peace, and trust?  How do I release the heavy weight I’m carrying about?  How do I regain that lightness in my step?

I have to say, I didn’t expect or intend for this blog to be about processing my job loss and the other losses in my life.  I didn’t expect to struggle with all of this so much.  But, life is funny that way. 

Therese Kay is an author and photographer residing in Massachusetts. She loves the contemplative practices of visio divina and contemplative photography. She often writes about and teaches them to others.

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